Financial Pickle

I am going through what feels like a big transition right now. I just quit my day job at a company that I LOVED but unfortunately the job itself started to suck the life out of me. Now this transition feels big because it has put me in quite a pickle financially. This isn’t something I didn’t expect - I quit without any other prospects. But I quit trusting my gut and my antsy creative soul telling me that quitting is overdue.

Now, I’ve never had very much money. I’ve always just kind of slipped by. Even so, I’ve always allowed myself to be a bit spontaneous with my money, believing that experiences or things that spark joy will make me happier than that number in my bank account, that more money will come, and that most of all, I always have (and looking back have ALWAYS had) enough money for any given moment. I have more than enough money, even in this “poor” moment, to be sitting here writing to you. But as I have been going through this transition -considering other jobs while still believing my purpose is greater than working just to pay the bills but scrambling for money to pay rent, I find myself with a lot of peace. The same peace I felt when I quit my job. Yes, I feel the need to be productive and to work towards something greater but not because I fear what will happen to me if I don’t, but because I feel joy and peace when I am working on something. Because I love my life. And I think that enables me to feel that same joy and safety when I take time to sit around doing nothing. Often I will sit on my bedroom floor and stare just for the sake of being still. And I love it. 

I love this opportunity to operate more out of love for my life than out of fear of what may or may not happen. I love this opportunity to put some of my beliefs about money, about my true purpose, and my higher power into practice. And to work towards greater things that fulfill my creative and spiritual needs. I have never been so “financially unstable” and at the same time so free, excited, peaceful, and trusting that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing what I’m supposed to do and that everything is exactly how it should be simply because it is what it is. I will not argue with this reality. Everything was, is, and will be okay. I love the opportunity to trust, love, and depend on myself through all of it. I am in LOVE with this moment in my life. Therefore, I will love the next. Therefore, I will love my future.

Grace Ryser